


xs-tential crisis

by capriciouslouis



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, Post-Oculus (DC's Legends of Tomorrow), Post-Oculus Leonard Snart, The Flash (TV 2014) Season 5, coldflash if you squint, i swear it was meant to be gen but they WOULDN'T STOP FLIRTING GOD DAMN THEM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24186052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capriciouslouis/pseuds/capriciouslouis
Summary: "When did the Flash start sending rookies to do his dirty work?” asked Leonard.“I’m not a rookie,” said XS. “I’ve been doing this for six months. I have a coffee named after me at Jitters.”“You and the rest of the city,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Why don’t you come back in a couple of years? I’d hate for you to trip over your training wheels."Three years after Leonard Snart is swallowed by the Oculus, he wakes up at the Vanishing Point and hails the Waverider to take him back to Central City. The first thing he does upon his return is to start wreaking havoc, expecting to be greeted by the Flash - but it turns out there's a new speedster in town. And she may or may not be a fan of his.Aka Leonard Snart meets Nora West-Allen, because it's what we deserve.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 67





	xs-tential crisis

The first thing Leonard did when he set foot in Central City was to rob a bank.

He’d only been gone for a few months, but for the rest of the world it had been four years, and the city had changed in his absence. A lot of things had changed, come to think of it.

“You don’t remember any of it?” Sara asked him as he sat in the kitchen on the Waverider, picking at a bagel, watched by half a dozen unfamiliar faces. “You weren’t conscious or aware of anything going on within the time stream?”

“Nope. The last thing I remember is holding down that button and coming up with some truly _killer_ last words, and after that I woke up in the rubble.”

That hadn’t been a pleasant experience – waking up to find the Legends had abandoned him, leaving him alone in the universe’s blind spot. He’d sacrificed his life to save them, an act of heroism he’d never have considered himself capable of, and they’d left him behind. Leonard wasn’t one for sentiment and didn’t tend to take things personally, but he had to admit that stung a little. Later, of course, their reasoning had become clear. No use hanging around waiting for a dead man.

He was lucky, he supposed, that thanks to some technological fluke his comms still worked. He’d managed to hail the Waverider, to the shock of its occupants. When he stepped on board, he was greeted by a totally different team than the one he remembered – a sea of unfamiliar faces. Even his old teammates were almost beyond recognition. It took a few hours to bring him up to speed, but the short of it was this: after his noble and highly ill-considered act of sacrifice, he’d been missing and presumed dead, until the Occulus had spat him out a few years later like a cat coughing up a hairball. That, Leonard thought, was the universe’s way of trying to tell him something.

“You could stay,” Mick said as they stood in the cargo bay. He wasn’t the same man Leonard remembered, but he was as gruff and emotionally constipated as ever. It was comforting to know that at least some things didn’t change. “Come with us. Be a hero. They’re all idiots, but they’re not so bad.”

“I could,” said Leonard. “But I won’t. Not that it wasn’t fun, running around the universe with you losers, but I think it’s time to throw in the towel. I’ve had enough time travel to last me a lifetime. There’s nothing left for me here.”

Mick’s jaw clenched. He was hurt, Leonard realised, by the comment. It wasn’t like Mick to take things to heart.

“What about the team?”

It hung between them, unspoken: _what about me?_

“The team’s changed, Mick. You’ve changed. It’s not a bad thing. But three years is a long time.” Leonard reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, watched Mick’s eyes widen in surprise. He’d never been the touchy-feely type. “It’s time I figured out where I fit. Besides, I miss Central City. Though I’m sure she doesn’t miss me.” He smirked.

“I’ll come with you,” Mick said.

Leonard shook his head. “You should stay. These people, this life – it suits you. I can tell you care about them.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you make one hell of a hero.”

“Take it back,” Mick said. His craggy face split into a smile.

Grinning, Leonard pulled him into a hug. “Look after yourself, Mick,” he said quietly.

The Legends had debated whether to return him shortly after their departure in 2016 for the sake of preserving the timeline, or whether it would be better to account for his absence and drop him off in 2019 instead. They’d argued about it for a solid hour until someone finally thought to ask Leonard which he’d prefer, and he’d decided on the latter. Things had changed – might as well go with the flow.

He stepped out into the sunlight and took a second to take in the view. At the very least they’d managed not to level the city in his absence. He wondered how many of the banks would have updated their security systems.

Well. Only one way to find out.

Less than three hours later, Leonard was spinning around the entrance hall of the Central City Bank, firing cold gun blasts in every direction and having the time of his life. Bank tellers cowered in their cubicles while the customers ran for their lives. One of the employees made a break for it, only to be intercepted as Len stepped out in front of him.

“Captain Cold,” he said, eyes wide.

Len was pleased to learn that people had long memories. He’d been gone, but not forgotten. Good to know. “Surprised to see me?”

“I thought you were dead,” the man breathed.

“I’ve been having a sabbatical. Now I’m back in business.” He tilted his head. “You have two choices: either I turn you into a popsicle, or you give me the keys to the vault.”

The teller snatched the ring of keys off his belt and tossed it at Leonard, who caught it one-handed. “Much obliged,” he said. “Now run!”

He bolted. Leonard laughed as he headed down the stairs towards the vault. He had no intention of killing anyone – after all that time playing the hero he’d lost his taste for murder – but the good people of Central City didn’t know that. Besides, he still had an agreement with a certain someone that he intended to make good on.

Speak of the devil: where _was_ the Flash, anyway? This wasn’t quite the welcome Leonard had expected. Still, maybe Barry was giving him a head start.

There was plenty of loot in the vault. Shameful. What kind of criminals had been running the city in his absence? Back in Leonard’s day he considered it a personal failure if the vault was more than half full. He stuffed his pockets until they overflowed with bills and helped himself to a large sack of cash to top it off. Then he headed for the exit.

Alarms screamed as he stepped out onto the street, a few loose notes falling from his pockets and drifting off in the wind like dead leaves. Leonard readjusted the bag on his hip, glanced up and down the street at all the startled faces looking his way – and then there was a crackle of lightning in his peripheral vision.

“Finally!” he said, turning around with an exhilarated grin. “I was beginning to think you were –”

He stopped short. This was not the speedster he’d been expecting. She was almost a foot shorter than he was, with brown skin and short curly hair. Instead of the red he’d expected, her suit was a deep, bruise purple.

“You’re not the Flash,” Leonard said. He was not pleased.

“Put the cash down,” she ordered.

“What are you, the intern?”

“I’m XS,” she said.

“XS,” said Leonard. “As in _extra-small_? I could have told you that already. I practically need a microscope to look at you. When did the Flash start sending rookies to do his dirty work?”

“I’m not a rookie,” said the speedster. “I’ve been doing this for six months. I have a coffee named after me at Jitters.”

“You and the rest of the city,” said Leonard, rolling his eyes. He had his own namesake drink, not that he’d ever recommend it. As far as he was concerned, iced coffee was a crime. “Why don’t you come back in a couple of years? I’d hate for you to trip over your training wheels.”

“That’s enough talking,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “You’d better surrender, _Captain Cold_.”

“So you _do_ know me.”

“Of course. You’re one of the Flash’s greatest adversaries.”

“Always pleased to meet a fan,” said Leonard. “Where _is_ the Scarlet Speedster, anyway? I’m offended he hasn’t come to welcome me back.”

“He's busy. He left the city under my protection.”

“How cute,” said Leonard. “So I take it you're well prepared to defend the city in his absence. I hope you know what you’re up against.”

“Oh, I know exactly what I’m up against.” She lifted her chin. “Bring it on.”

“Well,” he said. “If you insist.”

He fired the cold gun. Alarmed, the speedster zipped out of the way and was narrowly missed by the blast. Purple and yellow lightning crackled around her. She was less sure of herself than Barry, Leonard thought – still learning to trust her powers. The constant chatter was a front to cover it up. Someone should teach her to work on that poker face.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” said XS, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “But I’m actually _such_ a huge fan.”

“It’s nice to be appreciated,” said Leonard, aiming a stream of concentrated ice at the ground under her feet. “You want to take a selfie for your Instagram?”

“That’s probably kind of unprofessional,” she said, skittering backwards with sparks flying from her heels.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” Surreptitiously, he turned the cold gun down to what he thought of as its friendly setting. A nasty bite for a normal person, enough to give them a mild case of frostbite. For a speedster it’d just sting a little.

“Sorry. I don’t trust you one bit. Your track record says you have a history of stabbing people in the back.”

“Ooh, that hurts,” Leonard mocked. “Haven’t you heard? I’ve turned over a new leaf. I’m a model citizen now.”

She looked sceptical. “A model citizen who robs banks?”

“Nobody’s perfect.” He raised the gun. “Now, how about that picture? Say cheese.”

He fired. It was the equivalent of a warning shot, a quick blast that was over in an eye-blink. XS yelped and jumped backwards as the ice crusted the front of her suit, but she quickly started vibrating and within seconds it cracked and fell away, flakes dropping to the floor.

“Whoa,” she said breathlessly. “That tickles.” She grinned at him. “Is that all you’ve got?”

“Not even close,” said Leonard, and fired again.

XS dodged the blast and started dashing around him in rapid circles, so fast that she was little more than a yellow and purple streak in his peripheral vision. Leonard had seen this trick before. Most people - amateurs - panicked and turned around in circles, trying to keep the speedster in their line of sight. That was an exercise in futility. He kept his gun trained on the same spot as she flew past him over and over and over, waiting.

She’d been running for several minutes when XS finally got sick of waiting him out. She skidded to a stop a few feet in front of him, her hair in disarray, breathing hard. Frustrated that he hadn’t taken the bait, she huffed and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. She was a little unsteady on her feet, just as he’d anticipated. Leonard smirked.

“Nice moves,” he called. “I’m surprised you don’t get dizzy.”

XS shook her head and blinked, trying to recover from the giddiness.

“You might wanna watch your step,” he said, and pointed his gun at her feet.

Startled, she jerked backwards to avoid the anticipated blast, but her balance was off. She wobbled, listing off to one side, and stepped right on a patch of ice he’d left on the floor. XS yelped and slipped, sparks flying – and then her feet flew out from underneath her and she hit the floor hard. She lay there groaning, clutching her head.

Leonard wandered over to her and squatted down next to her, pointing the gun lazily at her chest. “You know, I’m getting some crazy déjà vu. Did the Flash ever tell you the story of what happened at Ferris Air? It was a lot like this, actually.”

“I’ll stop you,” said XS, trying to sit up.

“You sure you don’t want to take a nap first?”

Lightning crackled in her eyes – and then she lashed out with a scissor kick and knocked him on his ass.

He landed flat on his back, the breath knocked out of him. Rolling, he made a grab for the cold gun and swung it around to meet her, but XS was already on her feet. She knocked the cold gun out of his hands; it clattered to the sidewalk and she kicked it, sending it flying across the pavement and out of reach. Leonard leapt up and swung a punch at her head, but she caught it easily and twisted his arm behind his back, slamming him up against a nearby car. He laughed, his breath fogging the car window.

“Damn. You got me.”

“Damn right I did,” said XS, unclipping a pair of handcuffs from her belt. “Told you I wasn’t a rookie.”

“Very impressive,” Leonard said dryly as the cuff clicked shut around his left wrist. “So, what now?”

“Now,” she said, “I’m going to return the cash you stole from the bank and make sure all those people are okay. And then I’m taking you down to the precinct so my Papa Joe can give you a – um, I mean, so the police can take you to Iron Heights.” Instead of restraining his other wrist, she handcuffed him to the railings.

“Damn,” he said sarcastically. “And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling speedsters.”

Apparently the reference was lost on her, because she didn’t react. “That’ll teach you,” she said. “Crime never pays.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble,” said Leonard, “but it really does.”

“Maybe. But not today.” Picking up the bag, which she struggled to lift, she flitted off in a burst of lightning.

Leonard smirked, glancing up and down the street. No doubt XS thought she’d really done a number on him, chaining him to the fence like a badly behaved puppy dog. Unfortunately for her, getting arrested wasn’t on his agenda for the evening.

The cuff around his wrist popped open and fell to the floor, clinking against the railings. She could have at least made it a _bit_ of a challenge by cuffing both wrists. Getting out of handcuffs with one free hand was child’s play. Leonard shook his head in amusement as he picked up his gun. Then he pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill out of his pocket along with a biro that had been chained to the desk in the bank. It had always amused him that they had thousands of dollars in the basement and were still concerned about people stealing the pens. The snapped chain dangled as he scribbled a note.

_Sorry I couldn’t stick around. Things to do, places to rob. Catch me if you can before the trail goes cold._

_CC._

He pulled back one of the windshield wipers on a nearby car and carefully pinned the money underneath it. Then he swaggered off, whistling to himself.

It was a beautiful day in Central City. The sun was shining, birds were singing… and XS hadn’t even thought to check his pockets. Smirking to himself, Len pulled out a wad of cash and fanned himself with it.

It was good to be home.

~*~

A few days later, Leonard stepped out of Saints and Sinners into the open air and a cloud of cigarette smoke followed him out into the night. His favourite bar, at least, was the same as he’d remembered it – same sticky floors, same rickety pool table with one uneven leg so that you could rig a game if you knew exactly where to aim your pool cue – and the food was still abysmal. Not that he’d expected anything less. He’d been going there since the early 2000s and it never changed, nicotine stains and all. Non-smoking laws didn’t apply in a business populated entirely by criminals.

The door banged shut behind him and he headed across the parking lot, hands in his pockets. He’d made a few excellent business connections that evening – he’d only been back in town a few nights and already missed the reassurance of having a team watching his back. Damn Legends had made him soft. Still, it wouldn’t take him long to put together a crew. He already had a few worthy candidates in mind.

He pulled out the keys to the motorbike he’d stolen. There was a crackle of lightning and a breeze ruffled the furry hood of his parka, and suddenly his hand was empty. Smirking, he turned around.

Barry stood a few feet away, holding the keys aloft. The expression behind the cowl was inscrutable.

“So it’s true,” he said. “You came back.”

“Better late than never.” Leonard tilted his head. There was something different about him, and it wasn’t just the new suit. He’d noticed a change in him the last time they met, when Barry had plucked him out of time to have him break into ARGUS and almost got him eaten by a man-shark, but this was different. The things he’d seen still weighed on him, lending him a gravitas he’d never had when they first met, but he’d lost the edge he’d had the last time they met. He looked… lighter.

“I heard you died,” said Barry.

“I did. It didn't take.” He leaned up against his bike. “Turns out heroism disagrees with me, so I decided to come back to Central City and continue my life of crime – stealing, shooting, maybe some light vandalism. Imagine my surprise when I learned that there’s a new speedster in town. Aren't you a little young to hang up the cowl, Flash? I’d have thought retirement was at least a few years away.”

“Who said anything about retiring? I took a few days off is all. It's called delegating; you should try it sometime.”

“I'd love to, but you just can't get the staff. Not everyone has a dutiful daughter to take care of the family business while they’re gone.”

Barry frowned. “What makes you think she’s my daughter?”

“Please. You take a vacation for the first time in almost half a decade and the one person you trust to defend the city in your absence is a pint-sized speedster who just happens to be the spitting image of Iris. It wasn't exactly difficult to figure out. Though I must admit I'd love to know how in the space of three years you managed to produce a daughter who looks to be in her late teens at the very least.”

“That’d be impossible,” said Barry, smiling slightly.

“I was a Legend. I've learned what’s possible is relative.” He brushed a speck of lint off his sleeve. “She’s a lot like you. Reminds me of when we first met, back when you used to go running into trouble with no idea what you were dealing with. Points for enthusiasm, but no finesse.”

“Is that why you let her beat you?”

Leonard shrugged. “Thought I'd give her a chance. She's not bad for a rookie. You should be proud of her.”

“Trust me, I am,” said Barry. “I should probably thank you. I know she can handle herself, but I appreciate that you let her catch you, even if you did escape before she could take you to jail. It did wonders for her ego.”

“Yeah, well don’t expect me to do it again. It’s bad for my reputation. Next time I won't go so easy.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it.” Barry tossed the keys to him and Leonard snagged them out of the air. “It’s good to have you back, Leonard.”

Leonard turned the key in the ignition and the bike started with a rumble. Raising his voice over the engine, he said, “I’m looking forward to the rematch. Next time I’ll kick both your asses.”

“You can try,” said Barry. Then he sped off into the night, sparks flying in his wake.

Leonard grinned. It was good to be back, he thought. And with two speedsters to deal with at once, life in Central City was about to get a lot more interesting.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this was supposed to be 100% gen but Barry and Len refused to stop flirting OUTRAGEOUSLY in their one scene together so in the end I just went with it
> 
> I know Nora's canonically like. In her mid-twenties, but I swear to god she looks and acts like a teenager (probably just due to the Trauma and the weirdness of finally getting to meet her dad that causes her to act like a child all season for parental validation, which is 100% fair lmao) so I personally headcanon her as being like 17/18ish idk
> 
> Anyway the point is I'm really sad Len and Nora never got to meet and I think it'd have been really funny so I did it myself, and I brought Len back from the dead into the bargain because WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT ALIVE, HE'S BEEN FLOATING AROUND THE OCULUS THIS ENTIRE TIME JUDGING EVERYBODY'S BAD DECISIONS AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND
> 
> legends writers: in 2016 we killed off our dear character leonard  
> len: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD  
> legends writers: sometimes we can still hear his voice...
> 
> And while we're on the subject YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ISN'T DEAD? NORA WEST-ALLEN. THEY'RE BOTH HANGING OUT IN THE TIMESTREAM AND THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY FINE. you know what? don't talk to me. thanks for nothing, flash/legends writers.
> 
> (jk i love them but i wish they'd stop killing my faves. they live on in my heart.)


End file.
